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Aunt Jane was born in Columbia, North Carolina on July 4, 1904.  She married at a young age, was widowed by the age of 19, and left with a young son. She believed in land and homeownership, following in the tradition of her grandmother, a full-blooded Cherokee Indian nurse and midwife, who was often paid for her services with land. She worked initially as a domestic and saved her money until she had enough to buy her first house in her early 20’s. She had the entrepreneurial spirit of her grandfather, Robert Lindsey, who was the first African-American to own a general store in Boston, Massachusetts. In her early years, she opened a restaurant, had a taxi service and was even a bondswoman -- which means she had good business sense and access to cash! As early as the 1940’s, Aunt Jane was a pioneer in teaching homeownership to young people who would come up from the farms of the deep South to rent rooms in her boarding house. She made sure they ate well. She sat them down at the kitchen table and talked to them about jobs and saving money with the goal of buying their own homes. She inspired many young people who became real estate owners of several properties.

Reflecting on Aunt Jane’s life reminds me of two fundamental principles. First, to truly live a full life you must take action - moving from the intellectual realm (i.e., thinking about life and what you might do) to the experiential (i.e., actually doing it). I have my share of education – Wellesley College, Harvard Business School, a Ph.D. in World Religions – but I have to say that my greatest learning has come from being an entrepreneur. Getting my hands dirty and making missteps along the way, has been much more valuable than many of the books I read. The surest way to grow is to take action and gain life experience. Second, it is important to use your life experience to help others. Aunt Jane did not allow the fact that she had little formal education get in the way of her innate greatness. She achieved much and lived a very meaningful life. As ancient wisdom tells us, “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others.” In addition to passing on the entrepreneurial spirit to her family, she was free in sharing her life lessons with anyone who came across her path. Her spirit touched many and her life is a testament to the value of experience.

Sometimes we try to sweep certain events under the rug. We lament and ask, “Why did that happen to me?” As Oscar Wilde said, “To regret one’s own experiences is to arrest one’s own development. To deny one’s own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one’s life. It is no less than a denial of the soul.” Every experience matters. It may be the value you created at work or the people you touched at home. It may be a transformation – of coming through something challenging and being able to finally smile on the other side. The “experience card” is made up of the good and the not-so-good. It’s easy to feel confident and self-reliant when things are going fine. The true test comes when times get tough. Doubt may creep in and depress your enthusiasm and cloud your vision. That’s when you take a step back and look at what you have given to life and what you have learned – keeping in mind that you are more than your current circumstances. You are the totality of your experiences. As my mom always says, “Remember who you are;” and I would add, “Embrace who you are becoming.”